Crowded Loneliness and Quiet Contemplation
An “Out of Ur” blog post “Crowded Loneliness & Quiet Contemplation” briefly mentions how fractured our lives are in America today, and suggests “lectio divinia” as one option that can help, on an individual basis. Here’s a quotation:
Americans are knee-deep in the unprecedented phenomenon of grouped isolation—what [Randy] Frazee refers to as “crowded loneliness.” We are in desperate need of meaningful relationships, yet too busy and too pulled to maintain them.
Even worse, our attempts to relieve our sense of isolation often contribute to our fragmentation. We might join a small group, for example. We’ll get in contact with 3 to 11 other dedicated Christians and commit to meet and study the Bible every week.
But what happens? Those 3 to 11 people become another chunk of relationships that we have to manage [. . .]
I appreciate the insight that meditating on scripture can help to “defrag” (as one commenter on the post puts it) our often-hectic lives. I think, though, that we need to find an additional solution to de-fragment community. Part of the solution has to be continued emphasis on the idea that the church is not meant to be just another box for us to tick off our list — the church community (globally and locally) is a body in which all individual believers are an essential part, which also means that believers need to be integrated into the body, otherwise they will wither and dry up.
In the United States especially there is a tendency to consider church just a Sunday activity — one of many different activities in which we participate. We may sign up for a small group, but then that small group’s meetings will be just a Monday night activity (or whenever the group meets). I do think it’s critical that we Christians understand that Christianity is not just another personal belief system — it’s a community-focused way of life.
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March 15th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Ironically, the writer of the “Out of Ur” blog post over-emphasizes the imposition that “[managing]…another chunk of relationships” poses, while under-valuing the merit of established meaningful relationships found in small group environments (one such way we cope with “crowded loneliness” and fragmentation.) We are meant for relationships; if we spent all of our time “managing” relationships what good are we to the community in which we live?
Surely, an aspect of management involves all that we do, regardless of a “who” or a “what”. That does not mean we should abandon the management of relationships in order to find ourselves further entrapped by cycles of “crowded loneliness”, which we attempt to counter by “managing” relationships. If we view some relationships with the eyes the writer of the “Out of Ur” suggests, then we will never experience “defragmented” isolation alongside meaningful relationships.
Life, in our age, is what it is, we cannot make it less or more complicated (or in this case, manage more or less of relationships). Sure, we can make choices that we believe will lead to less chaos, but life never gives us that guarantee. We can, however, manage only what we have, as life invites us, with balance, discretion, and perseverance.
March 15th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
I so agree — we really cannot control the “chaos” of our own lives, though we can “manage”. One thing you made me think of is that having relationships is surely not a cause of chaos so much as having too many commitments and/or too many distractions. Relationships are such an important part of who we are, whereas other “stuff” can often clutter life. Hence why such an important part of managing is really boundaries and being able to appropriately say “no”.